Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
