if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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