Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
