If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
