I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
