After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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