whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
