ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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