Kiss
Puke
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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