best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
