There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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