I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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