I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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