So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
