Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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