I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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