in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
