the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
