Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
