This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she told me i tasted like america
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
