PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
