she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No more Irish car bombs ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
