dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
