She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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