i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
