I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't deserve a penis
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
