Umm I'm too high to move.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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