I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
