My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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