I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
