I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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