Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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