Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
