They should really pass out barf bags in church
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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