Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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