What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
