Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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