Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
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I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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