dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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