R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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