Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
