Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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