Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Randomize
