Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
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Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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