i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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