I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
