Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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