Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
