I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
