how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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