I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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