I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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