I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
