Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
