These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
