she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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