New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
