called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
