Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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