Already got asked if we're dating
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
