He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
